theologicalizing my life.

Dear Blogging Audience,

There are very few times that I do not enjoy my life in Honduras, so most of my blogs are fun and exciting and full of reasons why all of you should want to live here also! Well... this blog is not going to be one of those haha

1) We have not had water for a week.

2)As I said in my last post, this coming week is Semana Santa, and all the teachers are leaving for the beach. I decided to stay behind to work and save money, blah blah, blah. Well, Friday afternoon, we were leaving school, and one of our neighbors called to say that the electricity company was cutting off our electricity.... And let me explain why.

We haven't always paid for our electricity, but in January, they installed a meter to our house so we started to pay. The way it works is the meterman comes and checks it and prints off a bill which he will either tape on your door or give to a neighbor. Then, you take that paper to the bank and pay your bill there. That was fine for the first month.... the second month, we brought our bill to the bank and the people there said the writing was too faint to read, so we couldn't pay it. We tried to go to the actual electric company, and they said they would just tack it on to our next month. So, next month rolls around. We got the bill, I put it in a special, specific place so that we wouldn't lose it. Of course, we lost it. Don't know how, don't know where, but it's gone. Cue the power company. So, we lost power on Friday night, and everyone left for vacation on Saturday morning. I decided to walk to town and see if I could figure anything out. These walks down to town are always pretty interesting for me because I'm usually walking alone,and I start some deep thinking. This week's topic: Why is this happening? :) Is it because God is trying to tell me to get the heck out of here (another question: would God say 'heck'? :)) and He's showing me reasons to be happy to go? Or is He trying to make it as difficult as possible for me to try and find a job in the States, therefore, I'd have to stay here? :) I decided to call my mom. She's better at answering these questions than I am... and I wanted to vent :) There are some calling packets on my phone, so I bought one. Except that the one I bought didn't come through on my phone. Instead, I got 5 minutes to call Spain (for those of you interested, it costs the same to call Spain for 5 minutes as it does to call the US for an hour...) Now I do know someone in Spain, but I don't have his number, nor would five minutes be enough to fully express my ventilating!

My mom wasn't actually avaiable when I finally figured out the package; I did talk to Olivia for awhile, which was helpful. :) By that time though, I was out of money and even crabbier. So then.... I started thinking, "Now, is God doing THIS because He wants me to figure this out on my own? Do I need to find someone else to talk to? Do I vent too much? Is this the part where I stop thinking about it and trust Him? Or is this the part where I use my resources to figure something out? Is it punishment for not being more responsible? ... and on and on and on.

I got to town, stood in line for TWO HOURS at the bank to get money out of my account (it would be so nice to have an ATM sometimes!), grabbed a few groceries for my week alone, and tried to figure out the electricity thing. Apparently, the only way to pay your bill is to actually have the bill, or to have a code that is printed on the bill- neither of which I had of course. So, I went back up on the mountain and enjoyed the couple hours of sunlight I had left.

Now, the electricity thing doesn't need to be terrible. Maggie and Tyler actually left the keys to their house, so I was able to use their kitchen for my supper and take a shower (their house has water!), but mostly I was worried about the internet and how I was going to get all the work done that I needed. Another of my friends had left the keys to her apartment, so I thought I could just stay in town for the week and use the internet at one of the restaurants there, but then there was the question of trying to have a cheap week, not buying food, not going up and down the mountain... it was just going to be a big hassle. And, that's the part that I mostly didn't understand. Now, I know, people go through this everyday- trying to decide if God cares, or if He's really in complete control, and if He is, why He allows bad things to happen.... I know that everyone goes through those thoughts, and usually they are for much bigger questions than, "What am I going to do in the States next year?" still, I thought them. :) And I really don't get it. What is the point in my power going out, and me having to figure out all these extra things, when I was actually trying to be responsible? I've realized that I always need answers- in my relationships, with my students, in my own head. I want to know WHY someone is doing something. I think that was my issue last night. I tried calling my parents again, still not that great, ate some supper, and went to bed.

This morning, I was doing laundry over at Maggie and Tyler's, and one of our neighbors said that Samuel (a guy that lives up here on the mountain, and has been flirting with me quite a bit ever since my usual boy protectors, Ramon and Tyler, have left for vacation..) anyway! Samuel said he could fix our electricity and turn it back on because the office won't be open all this week because of Semana Santa. Now, I'm not sure if he just did this to try to make it so I'd have to pay him back somehow... but he fixed it. It's also possible that it was fixed illegally, but here I am, typing a blog from my house with my refrigerator running and my lights working. So, did God use a boy's possible immoral motives, or very probable illegal activity to answer my prayer? .... no idea. And, it kind of hurts my head to think about it all, but I'm probably going to continue thinking this way for awhile, right? Maybe all of this was just to scare me a little to insure that I DO work tomorrow and Tuesday and however long it takes to apply to every school I can find. :) And yes, maybe it's naive to think that all the little problems that were happening to me were all a part of God's plan but... that is what I believe don't I? That God has everything happen for a reason? even if it's something silly like causing a bill to just disappear randomly just in time for everyone to leave on vacation and then have the power turn off so that I would have to deal with it and figure it out and learn something.....? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Let me know your thoughts :)

Sincerely, the always rambling,

Laura Beth